The Rubbish Grace
In my Royal Navy days I heard of a Christian sailor so pious (and in my view astoundingly naive and self-defeating) that he would pray ponderously for what seemed like an eternity before every meal in the mess onboard his ship. There he’d be, at the table, hands clasped, eyes closed, praying as if his life depended upon it (mind you, with some food those days, it possibly did!)Now, sailors can be funny, they can be rough, rude and amoral, they can be the best mates you ever had but they can also be, very typically, merciless in the face of pretension. They will zero in on it and torment brutally. This situation was no different. As he sat engrossed in his ‘can everyone see me being very holy?’ mantle, surrounding sailors, helpless with almost silent laughter, would lace his dinner with everything from hot pepper to tab ends (‘tabs’ = Geordie word for ‘cigarettes’). Rising from his pious ministrations he’d then rescue what was left of his dinner with a look, which said that he was ‘suffering this for Christ and that the pain now endured was a small price to pay for his reward in glory.’ All he actually achieved was to make Christianity the laughing stock of the mess (Royal Navy word for where sailors live on the ship/submarine). It’s one thing to be thrown into the fiery furnace, quite another to jump in willingly to prove how religious you are.
I think he got a somewhat masochistic kick out of being seen as persecuted. I do wonder however, whether it was entirely his own fault. The military has always been a rich hunting ground for the evangelical right and my early experience of the Naval Christian Fellowship….but that’s another chapter! Stay tuned folks, more rubbish in the not-too-distant-future.
Haha, so funny! He’s like a Royal Navy version of that Pharisee bloke in the Bible with the really long-winded prayers.
It was all very sad and completely unecessary. If you’re going to be persecuted for anything let it at least not be for being a self-indulgent plonker
Do you know for a fact that he was doing it for his own attention?
The trail was short and went cold long ago but perhaps you may read this anyway. I was a Christian in the navy for 36 years, starting as an apprentice and finishing as a commander and in a variety of postings. Although not a “pray by your bed” type, I never hid the fact and was always content to take whatever was thrown at me – both literally and metaphorically. I look back having enjoyed the customary comradeship of the RN and the close friendship of many of all persuasions and none. It would not occur to me to go into print with the cynicism of this blog.
BP – sometime Chairman of Trustees, Naval Christian Fellowship
Ah, it’s nice to be back. Just found my way back here after a long absence. Thank you Brian. I’m glad that you are not cynical. I just have a wry way of looking at things, which frustrate. I just believe that there’s not enough critical thinking when encountering ‘facets’ of our faith and given the state of some of the churches, which are dying but keep on ignoring the warning signs, a bit like ignoring the gaping hole in the Titanic, I just sometimes feel like shouting to people to wake up….whilst making sure I listen to others who critique me. Since the ‘trail went cold’ as you say, I entered a really optimistic phase, only to see that optimism and all it tried to accomplish, dashed to the ground by a church structure so utterly determined to hang on to tradition instead of preaching the word of God. So, future blogging will be from a new perspective….hopefully.
Sounds like he made a mess of every meal to me… mind you, kinda reminds me of my younger days as a fervent evangelical … back in the punk era, I decided to wear clothes pegs instead of safety pins so that when people asked me why I was wearing clothes pegs I could answer, “I’ve been washed in the blood of the Lamb and now I’ve been hung out to dry in the wind of the Spirit.” Trust me, it was a real conversation killer. God only knows how many people I scared away. Glad those days are over!
Yes, i remember me as being JUST as utterly pants back then! As soon as the muse hits me, I’ll be at it again. Please do have a look at my other rants